Me & My Dysphoria Monster by Laura Kate Dale, illustrated by Hui Qing Ang

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I recieved a free ebook from Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review. Me and My Dysphoria Monster is a thoughtfully written picture book spilling over with emotionally vivid illustrations. The story follows Nisha, a young trans girl who has monster that follows her around, drowning things out, especially when she has to go to the boy's bathroom or the gym teacher says she can't play with the girls. Even when she goes swimming, something she used to love, the monster prevents her from making friends and being happy.

The way the author and illustrate work together to design Nisha's dysphoria in the shape of this monster sprite, full of dark colors and cosmos-y, bottom of the sea, angler fish black hole imagery was extremely compelling, and cathartic when dysphoria feels very personal, something only you can feel that no one ese could ever understand.

Speaking of feeling like no one could understand! The thing I loved most here was that when Nisha is going through her most lost point in the book, her dad asks her to meet a friend of his who's a trans man. I feel like I've never seen inclusion of trans adults to help trans kids work through their pain and actually get to see a version of themselves in the future that's happy. That was so important, and giving Nisha that connection really helped move things forward from the darker place she was in.

"Why do I have a monster?" I asked. "Well,"Jack said, "when we are born, the doctor announces if we are a boy or a girl. But sometimes the doctor isn't always right. Sometimes people are told that they are a boy, when actually that person knows they are a girl. Or sometimes people will be called a girl, when they know they are a boy. And some people will grow up and not feel like a boy or girl at all, but people will continue to call them a boy or a girl. When this happens, people like you and me will get a visit from our gender dysphoria monster. Our monster is that little voice that knows who we are, who we want to be when we grow up, and it doesn't want to be ignored!"

What was really impactful for me was the depiction of the monster as something that actually exists as your minds reaction to not being seen, that dysphoria can be a sign to stick up for yourself. I keep thinking about this long after the book because that's pretty far from how I've ever seen it portrayed- if dysphoria is a personal problem, usually media concludes that therefore it's that trans person's responsibility, not societies, and that w- a totally regressivee idea, but when we have only sad trans narratives, that's what we internalize! This creates a really positive message that I wasn't expecting, that dysphoria is like a voice that urges us to self-advocate and watches out for us when we're misgendered and deadnamed.

Still, a picture book doesn't have all the time to get into the nuances of dysphoria (Jack is lovely and his dysphoria is a tiny cute frog now that's much more subdued, but what about adults who've transistioned but still face dysphoria, what if transitioning is impossible because of money and/or family issues,, everyone experiences dysphoria differently, what if it's less about other people but a physical thing that you might not be able to control, how do we face that? ...) but I want to take this hopeful message and freaking run with it too, you know? I think in some ways it can ring true and be a more hopeful sentiment that transgender kids and adults might need.

The author also includes more space for nuance in the adult's guide, which I thought was super well done, providing insights about some choices like how the story avoids deadnaming and misgendering throughout to show how that's not acceptable, and also clears up myths about medical transition in kids, which is a big topic that needs to be discussed (especially where it's from in the UK) right now. Overall I thought this was a great story that would help a lot of people (myself included) feel seen, and give all kids a wonderfully drawn book on the shelf that inspires them towards empathy and the adults reading it some new resources as well.